I'm Jennifer Long, I am a 21 year old single mother. I have dealt with mental abuse, where I was talked into staying with someone because, everyone left them, because nobody stays by their side and I was just like everyone else. I have dealt with verbal abuse, where I was always told I was ugly and stupid and was not worth a faithful man, and how could anyone love someone like me. I have dealt with physical abuse. I was hit on, kicked, he spit in my face, there was even a time a gun was held to my face while I was pregnant and even worse afterwards.
I knew this relationship with my son's father was not worth all the time, effort, and pain that I had dealt with on a daily basis so I slowly but surely got myself out of the relationship. Eventually, the words didn't hurt as bad, the comments that were made and the other girls didn't offend me the way they used to and with the physical abuse, I began to fight back. After having my son I went to talk to my his father about child support and how I needed some sort of help with my son and he got upset and struck me in my face. I began to fight back and it was the scariest thing I had ever gotten into because, at the time I knew I was no match for a man, but at the same time there was so much anger in me and so much fight in me I had to handle this. After getting away fine, I called the police. We both went to jail and I was in trouble because I had no proof that I was invited on his property. By this time I was fully ready to never look back to this relationship and I was happy every day that I was no longer in love with him because it was not love. Love does not hurt, you should not have to beg love to stay, and you should not have to physically defend love. There was nothing in my past worth going back to and I was at the point that even if the mental abuse continued on "oh, your taking my son away from me?" just was not enough because we are all grown and we all are responsible for our own actions. I made sure I loved me first and that was were it began and I was able to get my mind in order to know that I deserved better. Everyone deserves to be happy and to not have to worry about what someone is doing every second they are away, that itself can drive a person crazy. I am now happy that I moved on with my life, met a really nice guy that loves me and my son. I know without God and the support of some of my family and friends this would not have been possible. You cannot just ask to get out, you have to want to get out! I learned that I would change when the pain of change was less then the pain of staying the same. At the end of the day I learned to love me and all my flaws and nobody can tell me I am not beautiful, that I am not smart, or that I dont deserve something because I know who I am ! I AM BELLA